More of What Matters

Here is a special post written by Emily Axelbaum, a senior at the University of Maryland College Park. Enjoy!

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!"- Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch

My grandparents migrate to Florida each winter to avoid the St. Louis cold. In order to spend time with them over the winter and to guarantee that we see our cousins at least once a year, we all follow behind for about five days over the holidays. For my extended family it was considered “the holidays” for a reason. While my immediate family and the family of my mom’s youngest sister have Jewish households, her older sister is non-religious. Therefore, our celebration is always secular, and although we light candles if Hanukkah happens to fall during our time together, it is not the main focus. For us, it has never been about a huge pile of presents when we pack into my grandparents Florida house. After all, my mom and aunts see 17 people as too many to spend December buying for, so for as long as I can remember, we have found an alternative. Each year over Thanksgiving, we do a name drawing so that each of the kids buys for one other kid not in their immediate family, and all the adults buy for one other adult. This simplifies things for most of us, although my grandparents, being the generous people that they are, still buy for all of us.

A name drawing is a really easy way to still incorporate presents into the holidays, without having them overwhelm the spirit of the season. We each get one present that we really want and nobody feels they are missing out when they don’t receive six or seven less meaningful gifts like ill-fitting clothing or a human-powered crank flashlight. Each person just has to focus on what the person they pick would like, instead of dividing attention amongst the wants of more people.

For my family, the name drawing is more than just a way to simplify, it also serves as a way for us to get more of what matters from the holiday season. The actual drawing was part of a larger Thanksgiving tradition we used to partake in. Those of us in St. Louis over Thanksgiving, normally just my grandparents and my immediate family, used to write and film mysteries and musicals (all of which turned into comedies) every year to send, along with the list of who got who in the name drawing, to our family on the East coast that couldn’t be with us over the long weekend. It was a great way for all of us to spend Thanksgiving afternoon before feasting, and though it has been phased out as we have all grown up, the idea of making that day about spending time together has definitely carried over.

Another activity we do is the famous holiday sing-along; it comes at some point during our week in Florida every year. It groups all the adults against all the kids in the ultimate sing-fest. This is no corny, let’s-sit-around-and-sing-by-the-fire family time game, it’s a competition. My uncle selects a different word each year, ideas include rain, heart, kiss, etc. and each team has 10 minutes in a sealed off room to make a list of as many songs as they can think of that contain “the word.” Then we all come back together and go back and forth between the teams singing a different song on our list, no repeats across teams, while my uncle awards points for originality (long-forgotten songs), presentation (dancing especially or soloist performances), and the “that-is-one-of-my-favorite-songs” Uncle Scott bonus. The first team to run out of songs loses points and ends the game. It is a truly great way to spend time with family and enjoy each others company, creativity, and awful singing over the holidays.

These are just some of the ways that, over time, my family has found to appreciate the holidays more for the time we get to spend together than for the things that we decide to buy for each other. The name drawing can be done using gifts received years past that you think someone else may have a better appreciation for, or it can be done as a secret where the person giving the gift doesn’t reveal themselves. The idea is to be creative and make gift-giving about spending time together instead of just opening a pile of presents.

For more gift swap ideas and descriptions go to http://www.newdream.org/holiday/giftideastaff.php#swaps

Happy Holidays,
Emily